Ella -
My reading of this piece is colored by my experience of working with the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, which manages thirty six fire camps as part of its conservation and training program.
After reading the poem several times, the impression that the second stanza is a poor fit has solidified and I suggest you consider removing it. The idea that an fire might be in some way genteel in the eyes of a forest firefighter seems ridiculous.
Another inconsistency is the muddy camp in a landscape of "sun-crisped" lawns. Consider replacing the mud with a drier surface.
You've chosen a subject that has a high level of tension built in. You need to find a way to use this tension to your advantage.
JB
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