Hi Ralph and John,
Reacting to your comments and suggestions I've posted version 3 trying to lose some of the easy breezy iambic modifiers while trying to tighten the message. My N is now more of an observer than a stakeholder in the scene. My other versions were wordy I think in attempts to add sonics of rhymes and iambs to avoid sounding prosaic. I'll keep working on it. I originally was aiming at posting on the metric board and then was lured away by the chance to sound philosophical and the challenge i perceived in making a prose poem, at least to my mind, more poetic. Thanks for your help.
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