[Alexandra Baez]

Carl, I see that you’ve answered me since I started my reply to Jim—awesome! I’ll post what I have for Jim for now so I can take a meal break, and then I’ll get back to you.

Jim, I’m really glad you enjoyed the surreal aspects of this, the shape-shifting of dreams and reality.

It's a dream that wakes and finds life can be a dream, right?

Yes! And perhaps that life at its truest and most alive feels like a dream, but that's just because we're not used to it.

(Can we dream a dream about dreaming?)

I actually have, more than once—I’ve even dreamed about dreaming about dreaming! Those times, when I finally really, totally wake up, it feels like crying wolf and I barely even believe it. What could be incontrovertible proof that one is really awake? It certainly can’t be anything as simple as “I think, therefore I am.”

Well, maybe that's not exactly what you're trying to say, but then again, dreams are always open to interpretation — ha!

You got me all tied up in mental knots with that one.

Interesting use of "rumples" as an adjective.

I was using it as a noun, actually--I mean, “in rumples” is an adjectival phrase, but “rumples” itself is still a noun here, technically. Maybe what you really meant is that it was interesting to hear it used as an adjectival noun phrase when you’d expect it to be presented as an adjectival verb (as in “it lay rumpled”). I actually thought of this construction only after a couple of years of wrestling with this line—the metrical constraints finally brought me to it.

My image is that you've kicked the sheets and blankets off the bed and they are lying on the floor — though I'm pretty sure you have a different image.

Oh, wow! I’d actually just meant that I’d shoved all the bedding to one side of me in bed. (This is a faithful rendition of the real historical incident that this poem describes.) But I’m fine with you imagining the bedding on the floor. It’s certainly more dramatic! I love the associations you drew with Where the Wild Things Are—it’s in the range of mood that I’m aiming for. (Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve read that book.)

Not sure how one can "ramble dimly" but I still like it for its odd connotations.

Okay; I meant "to ramble with dim awareness." I was trying to set up the dark part of the dark/light, unawareness/awareness conceit, but I also was aware of the muddiness of this phrase, and I kind of liked how it matched what it described.

S3L2: I'm not sure you need an ellipsis. Perhaps a colon to complement the colon in S1L1?

That’s what I originally used, but then I realized that what follows doesn’t describe the “greater dream” as a whole, only the source of that dream. However, I do like the feel of the colon there—it seems instinctual—and maybe my scruples about the technicalities of using a colon to introduce a partial vs. the more commonly-seen complete reference are unwarranted. I’d be interested in opinions on this. Maybe a colon here would fall in the category of a King James-style usage, such as Cameron often employs to simply lead up to some related thought.

"Threadless sheets" of light is such a textured image!

Textureless texture, eh? It does make me feel texture, though.

I could write about dreams every day — except for the fact that the real ones escape me every time I try to remember them.

Well, keep in mind that this poem isn’t about a recalled dream. (I actually don’t remember the literal dreams depicted in this poem.) But I have journaled mine nightly or nearly so for periods of time and I can typically recall my dreams in excruciating detail when I try—enough for just one dream to fill pages. I think that the discipline of trying to remember dreams gradually sharpens one’s ability to do so, but I’ve found that it’s important not to bang on the door of memory in a self-conscious, nervous way—one has to enter the psychic state of the dream in order for it to become fully available.

Yes, I love that word “fey,” and I’m so glad Jan reminded me of it. I’m going to have to start giving it a workout in speech and writing alike!

To wake from sleep and remember its dreams is the ultimate poem. But the dream trope also suffers from tread-wear.

While this poem isn’t about a remembered dream, yes, it’s risky to take on the dream topic in general. I know it’s not the first exploration of this theme, but to me, it’s fascinating enough to be worth some serious plumbing.

But I think, too, that there is room here to improve its buoyancy. I hope to come back when I have more time to think on it.

I’ll be interested to hear what sorts of thing you have in mind.