My conduct as an acolyte’s a shame,
But I outdid myself at Mass today.
My solo preparation was the same:
To steal some wine, diluted Beaujolais.
To kick it up, I’ve spiked it with dry gin,
And added vodka once, tequila twice.
Of course, distorting altar wine’s a sin
Only if it’s blessed—then Hell’s the price.
For a change, I mixed the wine with coke
Today, a blend I should have sampled first.
Numbly mumbling Latin, a sotted bloke,
Before Communion I had an addict's thirst.
I prayed for Mass to end and felt sincere
When promising again I’d stick to beer.
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Ralph
Last edited by RCL; 08-22-2015 at 07:09 PM.
Reason: outdid for topped; addict's for jonesing
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