[Rob Stuart]

If you eat the wrong kind of apple
Like some tragic fairytale miss,
I hope that some dashing young chap’ll
Arrive to supply you a kiss.

Had Tell shot the wrong kind of apple
From off his son Walter’s fair head,
Perhaps he’d have then had to grapple
With killing his offspring stone dead.

For Newton the wrong kind of apple
Meant one that rremained on the tree.
He’d sigh ‘Just one gourd in my lap’ll
Make gravity lucid to me.’

In Eden the wrong kind of apple
Was any that grew there at all.
They teach you about it in chapel
(It led to our First Parents’ Fall.)