Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Slater
I just saw a link indicating that the Spectator ran the identical contest back in 2001.
See http://www.accessmylibrary.com/artic...try-brief.html
PS--
I managed to use a library card to access the entire article! One of the winners back then was Bazza, whose first line was "Bollocky dogs are squat and short."
The other winners were G.M. Davis ("O'Hennessy's a sorry dog, he's called the Bloodshot Eye"), MS Williams, WJ Webster, and Aaron Agee. |
I had forgotten this! Here's my loser from that comp:
There's a barking near the gate near on 1658
When the Connex train's not ready to depart,
Saying "Rover where is Rover? Are his masters still in clover?
Have they learned the railway charter off by heart?"
All the muttering commuters and the broken-down computers
They are flashing green and red
Saying "Rover's missed his target, better go and start the car, get
Home in time to get to bed."
When it's 1659, there's a winsome sort of whine
And a sound as if the tannoy's broken down,
As Rover, looking nervous, pads from Customer Care Service,
And announces they are free to stay in town!
He gives one woof, and acts the giddy goof,
And he cancels all departures with his paw:
Then he sits to beg, cocking up one leg -
And leaves the punters shunted like before.