PARODIES -- "Holy Tango"
 

In Gregory Dowling's "What Makes a Successful Parody" thread over on M on M, I mentioned Francis Heaney and his book "Holy Tango of Literature" ("Holy Tango" being an anagram of "Anthology"). I just had another look, and glory be, isn't the whole lot of it online at http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/Holy_Tango.htm! His parodies are not just of poets, he does playwrights etc too.

Here are a couple of extracts from the Francis Heaney book:

AN E-MAIL
A. A. MILNE

Whatever I do, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
“Let’s write an e-mail,” I say to Pooh.
“That sounds like a wonderful thing to do,”
He says. I say, “I think so too.”
“Let’s write it together,” says Pooh, says he.
“Let’s write it together,” says Pooh.

(and four more stanzas)


AH, SOB
BASHO

A yellow snake eats
The robin’s lone precious egg—
You motherfucker


SUMO ANNOY
ANONYMOUS

Sumo ar icumen in,
Rude sumo cru.
Spreadeth but and treadeth fut
Wearing not the shu.
Sumo cru!
Al gruntyng on the mat,
Necks bedeckd with du,
Scowlyng faces, lackyng graces,
Surly sumo cru.
Adyu, adyu,
Mor sumo for to vyu,
We wish we naver du.

I started a thread on this about three years ago at GT with people doing their own parodies a la F. Heaney, but it vanished. So here goes again. The idea is to come up with an apt anagram of an author's name and use it as a poem title, then write the poem as a parody of the author's style (not necessarily of a particular poem). The only change I'd like to make from the Heaney model is to omit the author's name and leave people to work it out from the title. And include targets known hereabouts as well.

So, two to kick it off...

WINDY DAY, MOVING HALT

A windy day, high on a hill;
the ruffled Menai Strait below
danced in the sun. But dark and still
on that windy day, high on the hill,
was my ancestor’s grave. I stayed until
I had had enough and was ready to go,
on that windy day, back down the hill
to the ruffled Menai Strait below.

(OK, the initials of the "target" are DGA)


MY TRIUMPH

Her grace rendered me dumb
as sweetly she swooped and soared.
I blew her to Kingdom Come
as a small gift to the Lord.

Well, that's lots of fun. The anagram generator I found on the web informs me that Alfred Lord Tennyson can be anagrammed as 'fondle tarred nylons' and 'sanded net forlornly' which are quite promising. On theother hand 'Maria leaks welsh pie' seems to have nothing to say relevant to William Shakespeare. Philip Larkin doesn't do much. But the sentence 'Philip Larkin is cool' is undoubtedly true and also anagrams nicely. How about this then?

Philip Larkin Is Cool

Philip Larkin is cool.
I phallic oilskin pro.
Sex-crazed poets rule.
Philip Larkin is cool.
I no damn fool.
Two things I know:
Philip Larkin is cool.
I phallic oilskin pro.

Sword Throw

The movement had begun before his birth
But never had a voice to make it whole;
Though others aimed to play a greater role,
He watched, while writing lines of little mirth,
And rose, the foremost poet on his earth--
The Milton of his age with half the soul,
The bane of terse, with verses never droll,
And every sense of what his words were worth.
But oh! How effervescent you could be!
No daffodil or abbey could be safe
From these, your exhortations; though perchance
If they had means to write instead of thee,
About a glimpse of you, the oafish waif,
They'd surely pen your guise with more romance.

Alterable Haze Index

Take out your mightiest words,
To make sharp sparkle out of air.
On the cusp of praise,
Plain noise tries occasional poems.
[Etc.]

Frank

Withdrawn.

Well, those are in the spirit. But funny, I could have sworn I posted something here yesterday saying I couldn't work out "Alterable Haze Index" and suggesting we post the initials of the poet if the title's a long one.

I do get "Tender Swoons". Good follow-on of poem from content.


HAY: A SEMEN USE

As a child, they could not keep me from cows’ udders
Swinging heavy, bursting with creamy milk,
The teats proud like the erections of boys,
Ripe for relieving hands in the strawed pen.
I loved the sour ashy smell of nannygoat dugs,
Like eating Liffy cream in the smoke of a peat fire
Or burnt toast with cunty fingers in the big barn.
I learned to squeeze the bagged, oozing curds —

Old Pat with his crook and his foreign learning
Called it Chevre, the tart, dry cheese, lumpy
Like stale porridge. But most of all I wanted
To set full udders swinging, see the beseech
In bovine eyes. All that may go to explain
Why even today I am something of a tit man.

(SH)

Henry, that's superb. I remember you posting it before once, and I mentioned that, curiously, Craig Raine has a poem ("Bed & Breakfast") which includes the line "Tea and toast with cunty fingers".

I join in the plea for initials. But I also have to confess that even with the initials DGA I can't get your first one. Can't think of a poet with those initials and can't think of a poet connected with the Menai Strait. Am I being particularly dense?

Loved the Tender Swoons too.

DGA: a local David of Welsh provenance. That one's from the old thread too. I remember David telling me he didn't mind at all.

Henry, yes, I was being really dense. It was the "G" that threw me. I'd quite forgotten that Gwilym, even though it's there in full evidence on the cover of the book I have of his.

Sorry, David, do excuse me. In fact, it's beautifully done and I feel very stupid. Even the triolet form by itself should have told me. I'll keep my big mouth shut in future. I'd cancel my post if there weren't your answer to expose my dumbness in any case.

The "My Triumph" is very fine too.

In an attempt to redeem my reputation, let me suggest that the initials for Frank's "Alterable Haze Index" are E.A., and the poem being parodied was first heard on January 20th.

Withdrawn.