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-   -   Found sapphics: The Modern Palmist (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=34108)

Sarah-Jane Crowson 05-01-2022 02:14 PM

Found sapphics: The Modern Palmist
 
Okay, so here's my revision.

I have:

repositioned the bird-fish and tidied him up, adding some nice plant wings, too.

Digitally manipulated the clover illustration so that it looks (hopefully) like it's something the bird-fish (I shall call him Henry) is feeding from, sucking out of the palm.

Fitted the illustration to within the palm image.

Changed colour on erased text so that it isn't quite so blocky and blends a little better with the image

Added text of the first three lines of the found sapphic at the bottom of the print (this is number three in the sequence of four)

https://sarah-janecrowson.com/wp-con...5/Fishbird.jpg

Original image:
https://sarah-janecrowson.com/wp-con...-Ecologist.jpg

[Although I'm calling this a 'found sapphic' it's also an erasure poem, meaning that if I placed the source text under the image, the words would fall in exactly the same place as they do in the image.]

My source text is The Modern Palmist, D.B Jackson, (1953) Clay Books, Suffolk. It's a book whose ideas I disagree with - not because they're mystical, but quite the opposite - the 'scientific' way of palm-reading the author postulates verge on (at worst) eugenics, and (at best) stereotypes. It's disagreeable in a more than 'of it's time' type of way, for me. This is why I wanted to reinvent it, and make new narratives from it]

I'd be really interested in what anyone thinks, about the poetry or the image, or both. I can change/tweak these.

To put it a bit in context, the full 'found sapphic' is here:

art and bone, the palmist must shape the fingers;
rules and lines an intricate spider's web work –
free from blame he dances and sways through fortunes?
delicate worries


Each line has a similar image.

Sorry for long explanation!

Sarah-Jane

John Isbell 05-02-2022 01:05 AM

I prefer image to text, I guess because it’s already trying hard to be poetry so I lose the alchemical transformation.

I had my palm read on Venice Beach by a defrocked Russian Orthodox priest. I was young and with a lady, and before starting, he said You are not a couple. I thought that was a huge dice throw and was very impressed.

Cheers,
John

Sarah-Jane Crowson 05-02-2022 04:18 PM

Thanks John,

I have a few decisions to make with these four - I think at the moment they read visually cluttered with the text as a pure erasure, and there are other things I can do with the text that might be more sympathetic with the image, so it's very helpful to hear your thoughts.

Sarah-Jane

Jason Ringler 05-02-2022 05:01 PM

Sarah ,

Seems like your off to fine start.
I like the placement of the words, how they spread out at the fingers then gather in the palm area. The poem does well in its conveying of a palm reading in that way. The word dances seems to have some of its ink reflecting in the globe of water. The fish bird looks to be building a nest of leafy sprouts which could interpret as new starts around a globe of water. Good fortune. I think you’ will succeed at reinventing this. Be open for any unusual or less ordinary fortunes and maybe the unbelievable but true ones and misfortunes. Like John’s experience, I bet there are some strange tales out there. I like the entire sapphic as well, I feel it would be a good header or intro.

What other words were around "blame"? If that's an ok question or not.

John Isbell 05-02-2022 06:48 PM

Hi Sarah-Jane,

I think the word blame dangles there very nicely! As Jason points out. OTOH, reflecting on your comment, I think the center of the palm may be a little cluttered at the moment, and the bird, lovely as it is, looks a bit like a sixth finger, if that's a bug, not a feature for you.
I very much like your thought of using a palmreader's palm as your template here.

Cheers,
John

Jason Ringler 05-03-2022 06:36 PM

Hi Sarah,

You mentioned the image being cluttered, I wonder if removing some of the branches or fading them so the lines of the hand come through, but keep most of the leaves. I like the mushrooms and they go with the meaning of the palm reading, I wonder those are too many maybe , but bring them out more.

Sarah-Jane Crowson 05-04-2022 03:29 PM

Hi both,

Thanks for coming back to this.

Jason, the words around 'blame' are 'The owner of the Empty Hand does not feel things deeply. Praise or blame do not affect him greatly'. It goes on to say that 'He goes through life rather like a cabbage, with little sensitivity'!

John, I think that's a good point about the position of the bird-fish.

I think what I'm going to do is try to move the bird-fish and manipulate some of the lines so it looks as if the bird-fish is sucking them out of the palm - that will work to sustain a narrative of the palm-reader somehow sucking on futures like honey, which I quite like.

It'll take me a while, but I'll post a revision once the work is done. In the meantime, thank you! Your comments have helped me think of a way to improve this (I hope).

Sarah-Jane

Sarah-Jane Crowson 05-07-2022 05:28 AM

Revision posted.

John Isbell 05-07-2022 09:10 AM

Hi Sarah-Jane,

I like where your edit has taken this: it feels less cluttered, the bird isn't a finger, and there's narrative thrust to the bird and the lines of the palm. I'm not sure you need your complete text at bottom, though. Anyhow - very much enjoyed. I still like the palm as template and think a series might be possible.

Cheers,
John

Sarah-Jane Crowson 05-07-2022 02:16 PM

Thank you John, that's helpful.

I think whether I leave the text at the bottom depends on where/how these develop. I have four, all first drafts from April's slog of poem-a-day. I don't think the source text could stand more. It feels like archive research, sometimes, making these. Combined with chance and the dérive, which is probably at the heart of most of the work I make.

Onwards!

Sarah-Jane


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