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John Beaton 01-27-2010 01:30 AM

Address to the Haggis

Michael Cantor 01-27-2010 01:30 PM

Well intoned, John, and I suggest you bring the outfit and piper to West Chester with you. Was it something special for the occasion, or do you go about like that back in BC all the time, always preceded by a man blowing into a sheep's bladder?

My understanding of charitable events of this nature is that for about a $100 per person donation you get the meal and entertainment, including a nice portion of haggis; but the real key to the fund raising is that for $250 you are given a note from a doctor and permitted to skip the haggis. (If that is not how it works, you might consider it for the future.)

John (J.D.) Smith 01-27-2010 03:29 PM

First, congratulations. Bagpipes and that which goes with them are underrated.

Second, if anyone needs a so-far-unpublished Toast to the Lassies, do let me know. I have one that's been gathering dust.

Allen Tice 01-27-2010 09:55 PM

Your cumulonimbic (and very enjoyable) blaasts and brreezes at West Chester were much, much easier to understand, and an equally hard act to follow! Good fun.

Martin Elster 01-27-2010 11:55 PM

I didn't understand the words, but it was fun to watch and it appeared that you had a lot of fun, too. I also liked the bagpipes.

David Anthony 01-28-2010 02:41 PM

Nice recitation, John.
The blonde on your left didn't seem too impressed. Is she your Missus?
Best regards,

Tim Murphy 01-28-2010 09:38 PM

Beaton, you don't need me to tell you cut a fine figure of a man. I'm sure you've heard that from your female admirers. Ah doo thenk ye luick guid in a kilt, ond whet a perfermance. Bonny doun.

John Beaton 01-31-2010 05:02 AM

Well, it’s a bit of a ridiculous poem, but it has some sort of crowd-appeal.

Michael, for going about, I wear my casual kilt outfit, complete with navy polo-neck and wellies. Only in moments of great fluidity am I piped in.

From your remarks about value received for the additional $150, it seems you think the haggis is unappetizing and unhealthy. The Scottish Tourist Board has asked me to ask you to keep these opinions to yourself. If you do, they may send you a complimentary oatcake. It is, after all, the Scottish Tourist Board.

John, in the wrong hands, the bagpipes can be WMD’s. Why don’t you post your Toast to the Lassies on the appropriate board here? I’ll look in on it if it’s not on TDE. At Burns season, people look for good templates. I’ve written a Reply to the Toast to the Lassies and an Immortal Memory, but not a Toast to the Lassies. If you don’t want to post it on the Board, send it to me in a PM.

Allen, I’m glad you enjoyed it and both pleased and surprised that you remembered the West Chester piece.

Martin, yes, I quite enjoy performing, even when it isn’t exactly right. (This one had a few mistakes for which I have excuses.)

David, no she’s not my Missus. She’s probably just one of those haggis-realists who sees little grandeur in chopped organs.

Tim, it’s a wavelength I though you would be on. Thanks.


Tim Murphy 01-31-2010 06:53 AM

Well, the important thing is the sheep's bladder, which is, after all, lamb bacon. I'm personally opposed to eating oats, which are only food for the ponies, I mean, let's get real and eat wheat, but I'll shut up for fear of the Scottish Tourist Board.

David Mason 01-31-2010 12:45 PM

I've never seen a man go at a haggis with such gusto.
Well done, lad.

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